“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” --Eleanor RooseveltI’ve thought a lot about what to write about courage. These are times in which great courage is required, both from individuals and from those whom we have elected as our leaders. For me, every day reminds me how important courage is.
You may have heard the saying by Susan Jeffers (coined in a book title): “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Yet, like so many (seemingly) simple bits of wisdom, the ability to act when you’re afraid can feel like an impossibility. Fear can freeze us into one spot and paralyze us from doing anything.
I remember watching a good friend of mine succumb to the paralysis of fear. Years ago, long before our current recession-depression, he had lost his job, and he had a large family and wife to support. He didn’t have a high school diploma, and he struggled with reading and writing, which made him afraid to fill out job applications. Lacking any immediate prospects for work, he simply sat down one day and began watching television non-stop. He gave up bathing and caring for himself, and his friends and family watched helplessly as the bills mounted and the pantry became bare. When an out-of-state friend called to offer him a job, he accepted it and moved his family across the country. Although undertaking a job search scared my friend into immobility, he was courageous about uprooting his family and starting over in another state—an action that would have terrified someone else.
Fear is subjective. Most people will do anything to avoid public speaking; I’ll volunteer to stand in front of a crowd. Courage is born in those moments when we realize that fear is the boogey man in the closet, the nightmare that makes us scream in the middle of the night. Fear, like courage, comes from within us. It is largely a creation of our own minds.
Courage, the antidote to fear, is like jumping off the high board. As one of my friend puts it, it’s swinging from the skinny branches. Courage isn’t always—or even usually—headline winning acts of bravery. True courage comes every day, in the small choices we make. It’s deciding that we can be truthful with our spouse. It’s choosing to be kind and compassionate rather than lashing out in anger and fear. It’s making that phone call for a job, or to the bill collector, or to an old friend whom we haven’t spoken to in a long time.
Many people, myself included, have had to find new stores of courage in the current economic climate. After years of easily finding work and enjoying financial abundance, things abruptly changed. After months of searching for work, I have a new appreciation for why my friend parked himself in front of his television set.
I remind myself every day that a connection to the Universe diminishes fear and fuels courage. When I feel the tyranny of the urgent pressing upon me—that obnoxious voice in the back of my head screaming scary things at me—I retreat to silence. In that silence, I listen. I allow the Universe to carry away my fears, and in their place I feel the pulse of courage. And then I follow Mrs. Roosevelt’s words. I do the things I thought I couldn’t. I make those phone calls and send out manuscripts and write. Sometimes my hands sweat and my heart pounds, but I move forward anyway. I’d rather live a courageous life than a fearful one. Every day, I renew that choice.
“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” --Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Picture courtesy of Simeon Eichmann at http://www.sxc.hu/photo/971596
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