Purple Butterflies

In the spring of last year, I noticed that the books coming into my life were frequently about death, books like No Death, No Fear by Thich Nhat Hanh and Home With God by Neale Donald Walsh. I thought, “I wonder who’s going to die?” I didn’t have to wait long for an answer.

I must back up and tell you that I subscribe to the Theory of Random Books. My theory goes like this: Books find their way to me for a reason. I might have a book for years and not read it, but when I finally crack the cover, it usually speaks directly to something in my life. I do my best to buy books randomly. I also get them from friends or read them at the library, and I love it when I’m a book club member because I sometimes forget to respond to the selection of the month. When those books arrive, it’s a total surprise. I got a book on coincidences that way (The Three “Only” Things by Robert Moss).

At any rate, in the spring of last year I could feel something coming. It was like the smell of the desert before the rain comes; bold and strong, announcing the arrival of something rare… and big. I kept my receipt for an audio copy of Eckhart Tolle’s The New Earth because the purchase coincided with the arrival of my mother’s final days. When I walked through the door to her apartment that afternoon, I knew the rain had arrived in a monsoon.

Going out of this world is like coming into it: messy, painful, and experienced in varying degrees of difficulty. I knew only one thing for certain. I knew my mother would go on, just not in a form that I could hug. I’ve felt her with me on many occasions, but when I see purple butterflies, I know she’s here.

Not long before my mother passed on, there was a conversation about purple butterflies in her hospice room. My mother was unable to talk or communicate with us at that point, but I knew she could hear us. Moments after she passed away, I encountered my first purple butterfly.

A whole mess of butterflies, actually, in wall hangings and prints on the walls of the hospice’s hallways that I had not noticed before. A huge bronze butterfly sat outside in a courtyard, which I had not seen at all. Purple butterflies started turning up with increasing regularity from that point forward. Now every time I see one, I think, Hi there, Mom.

Recently, I had a chance to visit with an old friend who lost her young daughter in a tragic accident about five years ago. She believes, as I do, that those we love stay with us in many ways after they die. Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “If someone you love has died, now you know the name of one of your guardian angels”? I shared my purple butterfly story with her, and my friend was flabbergasted. She was wearing the purple butterfly necklace that her little girl had given her; she told me her daughter had a special love for them.

I took it as another hello from beyond, only doubled this time.
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Picture courtesy of Fercozzz at http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1126125

One With Life

Each new day brings more clarity of my direction in life. My goal: Time spent without ego increases each day.

As the day progresses life can take on many twists and turns. When I find myself being judgmental or in a bad mood, sometimes it is difficult to bring myself out of the negative thought process. The thought goes round and round in my head. I call this “mind screwing.” When I realize that I am mind screwing, I question myself, and the same answer always comes to the forefront. It’s a choice. I can choose to be in a good mood, or I can choose to remain in a bad mood.

During the times when it is more difficult to get out of a certain mood, I think to myself, “What makes one thought more important than another?” Out of all the hundreds and hundreds of thoughts that cross my mind in any given day, I am allowing this one negative thought to take over my mood and determine the outcome of my day.

Seems simple, doesn’t it? Just change your thoughts and you change your mood, thus changing your experience. Simple, maybe -- but not easy. The ego can be very strong and take your thoughts off into a direction where you are rationalizing with yourself, why your feelings are hurt, or why you need to be justified, or whatever is affecting you at the time and resulting in the negative emotions in the first place. Being aware of each moment as the moment happens -- opens your eyes to how to be happy throughout your day, letting go of issues or injustices and moving forward.

Not sure how to do this? Watch your pet. In one moment you may be scolding them for behavior that is not acceptable, and in the next moment they are off chasing a butterfly as if the scolding never happened. To them it didn’t because the scolding moment is over and in the Now moment, catching the butterfly is all that matters. Animals do not hold grudges or bad feelings towards others.

Each day I achieve a few moments when I have no ego. It is in the “no ego” moment I realize I do not have to be justified by anyone or anything. My judgments are not important without ego, I simply observe situations – not judge them. It is in that “one” moment that life is simple.

"There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness. “One With Life.” Being one with life is being one with Now. You then realize that you don’t live your life, but life lives you. Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.”- Eckhart Tolle – A New Earth.

The Ego

One of my favorite pastimes is people-watching. Human behavior is so fascinating to me. There are those who react to situations by bullying and yelling louder and feeling they have shown the other who is in control. There are those who react by ignoring and quietly going away to avoid the situation and there are those who react by communicating and handling the situation with grace. Everyone has their style. Our society seems to have become so dramatic and very negative.

Our ego plays a huge part in how we respond to life. It’s because of our ego that we feel our way is the “right” way and therefore the only “correct” way of doing or responding or believing; instead of understanding that there is not a “right” way… but simply another way.

This understanding came to me while reading A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle. This book is so powerful that I have read it several times and will read it several more times, and listen to the audio version of the book again and again.

This book is filled with so much information, I guarantee if you read it, you will definitely think twice before you react to life and maybe start being proactive. I wonder how many times you will re-read it???